Thursday, November 5, 2009

Double Standards!

So Ive been thinking about making one of these blogs for a while. I thought it would be fun to share my thoughts, tell funny dating stories, address comments made, questions asked etc. Well, today I received an email that was just the motivation I need.

A Citizen on Biggercity by the name of "superstevies" (look him up, he seems like a real peach lol) decided to send me the following message:

"So yeah...if your not really a chaser or NOT JUST a chaser why does it say your looking for a chub. I know its none of my business who you are looking for but if your not a chaser why r u on this site and not on the 100 other sites you could be on. We do not have a lot of choices about sites to go to, to acutally get any interest and you have to take up space. Every picture you have is of a super skinny twink circut looking person. How about some real life. You with a person that could be even with 1% body fat.???? It just seems like your really on here to get your ego stroked by guys swooning over how great looking you are. It seems your into acting and seems like your good at it, acting like your into guys that are not skinny? So yeah we do think this about you and you have done nothing to prove any of this wrong."

First of all let me state that most of the gentleman who have sent me messages on BC have been very flattering, encouraging, courteous and above all, respectful.

One of my hesitations in "coming out" as a chaser, something which i have been criticized for not doing for so long was that the chub chaser community seems very passive aggressive and judgemental. As a "chaser" its just assumed that I am only interested in a chub because of his size, or looks, and that Im not capable of having a genuine interest in the person. I couldnt possibly see a larger man as anything but a sexual fetish. I find it almost comical that a community so marginalized because of their appearance, are so quick to judge someone else because of his.

You are correct "superstevie" when you point out that I am a chaser but not just a chaser. I am attracted to many different types of men, including chubs. Criticizing someone for whom he is drawn to is just like criticizing someone for being homosexual. You can't help what you are or are not attracted to.

I guess my frustration with this posting, and the reason I felt compelled to post a general response is the hope that whoever reads this will see someone who is genuine, honest and just trying to find someone out there to share his life and his heart as well as his bed. Perhaps we will be a little more hesitant when judging from now on.

"I'd rather be 9 people's favorite thing, than 100 people's 9th favorite thing. "~Title of Show


  1. Honestly, superstevies is just a mad fat man. You can be with or like anybody you want to. As a chub, I prefer chasers, but I do like some bears, cub, and even smaller chubs. It is okay to have variety. It is more about the connection anyway. I think he is mad, because he is really attracted to you, and it frustrates him that you would have the "audacity" to like other types of men. Chubs like him need to get with the program and understand, people don't have to be pigeon-holed into a classification.

  2. I can understand a little bit of superstevies frustration, though without SO much outright hostility. Honestly, the most important thing I have found as a chub is that we, or at least me personally, feel like we have to have this tougher exterior because we are SO used to being judged solely on the outside. There are those exceptions, such as yourself AFChaser, that are yes attracted to man with a little more meat on his bones, but thats it. It isn't a requirement that we maintain a body size that is sometimes unrealistic, it is just something you are attracted to. I think superstevies hostilities are stemming from certain people on here that I have come across who message me, asking for a picture of me with no shirt on so they can see my bare stomach, then that is it! Nothing else. It kiiiiiiiiiiiiinda starts to make you feel like a piece of meat.... This goes for chub and chaser alike... That is just the nature of perverts.

    It is unfortunate that Superstevies has let himself become SO jaded that he can't at least give each person an opportunity to show their genuine interest, instead just writing each chaser off as a flippant prick.

    Ok getting off my soapbox now ;) AFChaser, good blog entry, you should update more! And it superstevies is so attracted to you he should just tell you, I know I sure am attracted to you!!!!

    Catch ya later :)


  3. I think the titles are just like being called a bottom or a top! lol there's people that like both! just like chubby guys who like chubs/cubs/chasers and the same with all other tittles. it's just what you think that you are closer to describing you.

    I mean i had this one guy who sent me a message and then got mad cause i didnt respond. first of all i'm not going to be fake and be nice to keep you as one of my fans! second if i dont like you and dont respond is way less meaner than responding with an "i dont find you attractive" message! third if someone doesnt find you attractive, deal! Too bad. dont harrass someone for not being attracted to you. a person likes what a person likes.

    When I like a guy i just look at his profile. if i really do, i send a message. Good if i get a reply, good if i dont. No need to get jaded or frustrated!

    anyway that's all for me!! <3<3
    hugs, kisses, love and light!! =)